Sunday, May 8, 2016

Some Disagree: Mother's Day isn't for everyone

If you have a great mom and you love her, then call her up and tell her. Make it a great Mother's Day for her and for you.  But remember that not everyone has or had the same life as you.  And they're not wrong for feeling differently about their family or about having one.

For a variety of reasons, all of them valid, some women choose not to have children.  Some are concerned about the planet, and havung just one child will increase the population by about 3-5 by 2050.  Some can't afford to have children and make the sacrifice not to bring up any in poverty, even though they want kids.  Some choose not to have any because they want their personal freedom of not having the responsibilty of raising kids - it is NOT "selfish" to not become pregnant, not selfish to not have kids that don't yet exist.  And there are other equally valid reasons, none of which you or anyone has the right to criticize.

Some women cannot have children due to infertility, genetic conditions they don't want to pass on to kids, among other medically valid reasons.  Women are not "barren" or "failures" for not having any children. You are insulting all women when you say they have no value if they don't have kids, you're no better than the republicans in the US who want to deny women bodily autonomy.  Women are complete human beings without ever having children, contrary to what some people "think".

Some people are lousy human beings, they are physical, emotional and sexual abusers.  Just because a woman gave birth to someone does not mean the person owes her anything.  If you are ignorantly demanding that people "forgive and forget" (or worse, tell the victims to "apologize"), please shut up.

Would you tell a woman to "forgive" an ex-husband or ex-boyfriend who used to beat on her or raped her?  Unless you're a complete pile of garbage (e.g. a republican who believes rape doesn't happen), you wouldn't tell a woman to do that.  So why would you tell people to "forgive" when they suffered a childhood of abusive parents?  Being blood related DOES NOT entitle anyone to anything.  It is not "selfish" to protect oneself by cutting all ties with one's blood relations - note that I don't call them "family", because they aren't family.  You have family by choice, not by force.

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